Executive Function Skills by Age: A Parent's Guide
Executive Function Skills by Age: How to Help a Forgetful, Disorganised Child
What executive function is, what to expect at each age from 6 to 14, and everyday games, routines and habits that help a child remember, plan and stay on track.
By Jaswanth Nalluri, Co-founder of Bookstaken31 October 20266 min read
The homework is done, but it's still on the kitchen table. The PE kit is at home on PE day. They started three things and finished none. Sound familiar?
These are executive function skills: the brain's management system. They're still developing all through childhood, and there's a lot parents can do to help. Here's what they are, what to expect by age, and what actually helps.
In short
Executive function is a set of skills for planning, remembering, focusing and controlling impulses.
Three core skills: working memory, self-control and flexible thinking.
They develop slowly, right into the early twenties, so most "disorganised" children are simply still learning.
Help from outside first: routines, checklists and visual reminders.
Then hand over gradually, so your child builds the skill themselves.
Games, reading and conversation all give these skills a workout.
What is executive function?
Harvard's Center on the Developing Child describes executive function as a set of skills that work like an air traffic control system for the brain, helping us manage many tasks at once. It names three core skills:
Working memory: holding information in mind and using it, such as remembering instructions or doing sums in your head.
Inhibitory control (self-control): stopping to think before acting, resisting distractions, waiting your turn.
Cognitive flexibility: switching between tasks, seeing things another way, adjusting when plans change.
Together they help children plan, organise, start tasks, manage time and keep going.
What to expect by age
These are broad patterns, not deadlines. Children develop at different speeds.
Age
What many children can do
What they still need help with
6–7
Follow a two- or three-step instruction; take turns; tidy up with reminders
Remembering things without prompts; switching activities calmly
8–9
Follow a simple daily routine; pack a bag with a checklist; finish short homework tasks
Planning ahead; managing time; longer projects
10–11
Keep track of homework; plan a small project with help; wait and think before reacting more often
Breaking big tasks into steps; estimating how long things take
12–14
Juggle several subjects and deadlines; use a planner; manage some of their own time
Long-term planning; staying organised under pressure; screens and distraction
Signs a child is struggling with executive function
Often forgets instructions, homework or belongings.
Starts tasks but rarely finishes them.
Finds it hard to begin homework, even when they know how.
Loses track of time, or is always late.
Gets upset when plans change.
Acts first and thinks later, more than other children their age.
Has a messy bag, desk or room that they can't seem to keep tidy.
Many children show some of these. If they're severe, getting worse or affecting school and friendships, talk to their teacher or doctor. Executive function difficulties are common in ADHD and some learning differences.
How to help at home
Make routines visible. A picture or written checklist for mornings, after school and bedtime takes the load off your child's memory. Stick it where they'll see it.
Give one instruction at a time. "Put your shoes on" works better than a list of five things. Ask them to say it back.
Break big tasks into small steps. A project becomes: choose a topic, find three facts, draw the poster, write the captions. Tick each step off.
Use timers. "Let's work for 15 minutes, then take a five-minute break" makes starting easier and teaches time awareness.
Have a place for everything. A hook for the bag, a tray for school letters, a box for the PE kit. Pack the bag the night before.
Talk through plans. "What do you need for tomorrow?" "What will you do first?" Planning out loud builds the habit of planning in their head.
Hand over gradually. Start by doing it together, then prompt, then let them do it alone. The goal is a child who can run their own checklist.
Games and activities that build these skills
The Center on the Developing Child suggests games that become more challenging as children grow.
Ages 6–8: Simon Says, Red Light Green Light, memory card games, I spy, simple board games.
Ages 8–11: card games like Uno and Rummy, strategy games like chess, Connect Four and Mastermind, crosswords and word searches, building from instructions.
Ages 11–14: strategy board games, Sudoku and logic puzzles, learning a musical instrument, sports that need planning and teamwork, cooking a meal from a recipe.
Why reading helps
Reading a longer book is a workout for executive function. Children hold characters and events in mind (working memory), stay with the story despite distractions (self-control), and change their predictions as the plot twists (flexible thinking).
Talking about the book afterwards adds more: "What do you think will happen next? Why?" Our guide to building reading stamina shows how to help a child read for longer, and our books for kids with ADHD are short, fast and funny, a good start for children who find focus hard.
A weekly hour that builds focus
In a Bookstaken session, a trained college mentor talks through a real book with your child 1:1 on Google Meet, asks them to predict, remember and explain, and helps them plan and write their own story, chapter by chapter. A short reading quest between sessions keeps the book going.
For children aged 6–14 who can already read. You're welcome to sit in on the first session, which is free.
Frequently asked questions
What are executive function skills?
They're the mental skills we use to plan, focus, remember instructions and control impulses. The three core skills are working memory, self-control (inhibitory control) and flexible thinking.
At what age do executive function skills develop?
They start in early childhood and keep developing through the teenage years into the early twenties. That's why younger children need much more help with planning and organisation than adults.
How do I help my forgetful child?
Use visible checklists, give one instruction at a time, keep a set place for important things, pack the night before, and gradually hand responsibility over as your child gets better at it.
Is poor executive function a sign of ADHD?
It can be. Executive function difficulties are common in ADHD, but many children without ADHD also find these skills hard while they're still developing. If you're worried, talk to your child's doctor.
What games help executive function?
Sources
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. Executive Function & Self-Regulation, and Enhancing and Practicing Executive Function Skills with Children from Infancy to Adolescence.
Diamond, A. (2013). Executive functions. Annual Review of Psychology, 64, 135–168.
Games that need memory, rules, waiting and strategy: Simon Says and memory games for younger children, card games and chess for middle years, and strategy games and puzzles for older children.
Can executive function skills be improved?
Yes. They grow with practice, support and age. Routines, games, reading, music, sport and responsibilities at home all help.
